Hearts fans are the fattest in the country!!!

Last updated : 19 May 2002 By
A report in today's News of the World has claimed that our tubby Edinburgh neighbours are on average the fattest in the SPL!
Ex Hearts player Kevin James
Kevin James. Axed for being too skinny?


The report was based on the sales of each teams' replica shirts, and the jumbo Jambos came out well on top, with a staggering XXXXL. That's not a typing error folks, there really is FOUR x's there!

A Hearts spokesman said the the News of the World: "Last year's manufacturer was Errea. Their strips were very tight. Even with an XXXXL some people weren't able to get a strip that fitted!"

While the biggest us Hibees got to was a svelt XXL, our heavyweight chums still couldn't fit into their bigger tops. Reebok now do the Hearts strip, and rumours that they just edged out the makers of Billy Smarts big tops and the High and Mighty chain are unfounded.

The news is bound be a boost for the economy in Gorgie, with Burger King said to be set to move their entire main operation into the area, creating thousands of calories, I mean jobs.

But, all joking aside, Hearts could well reverse the trend of an SPL club losing money if they start charging for their strips by the square metre. If that happens, you could well see players like Michael Owen turning out for the Jam Tarts in the near future!